(FREE???) BOOKS!

Hey — I don’t know about all of you, but I’m invested in having a working postal system! So when I hear that it might be going bankrupt, I want to try and do something about it. I’ve also got a backstock of books I’ve published that are just sitting here not selling because stores are closed. CAN WE MAKE THESE TWO THINGS COMPATIBLE????

So here’s the deal. You mail me a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope, and I will mail you back some books! Or possibly something else (like, maybe someone sends a box instead of an envelope and gets back a coffee mug or a shirt or what have you)!

Here are some guidelines:

1) Envelopes. I can only fit whatever will fit in the envelope and have enough stamps to be paid for. If you send a regular envelope, there are very few things that will fit in there. So a regular envelope might get a single printed poem or some stickers or something. Larger envelopes, for like birthday cards and stuff, can usually fit some of my smaller books. But these require more postage! When I send books to people via large envelopes, I usually use at least four or more stamps. Manila envelopes are great, and can fit ANY of my books, but, again, require a bit more postage! Be liberal with your stamp use, folks, we’re trying to save the USPS from the forces of evil.

2) Requests. Getting into the weeds on specific requests gets a little nutty. Besides, I don’t even have a complete list of all the books I’ve published, much less know which ones are here sheltering-in-place with me. However, you can make requests, like, “Kids book, please!” and “Adult book, please!” so that I don’t inadvertently mail your children something with cartoon wangs in it. If you’ve already got some of my books, you can tell me which, and I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t get doubles.

3) Money. So, I really am approaching this from the standpoint of all of us being in this situation together, either trapped at home or being an underpaid essential worker risking your life to get out there every day to support the rest of us. I also really want to do whatever small thing we can do to support the USPS. That said, if you want to include some form of payment when you mail me, I’m not going to stop you, since I do technically make my living selling books and shirts and stuff. But please don’t feel obligated to send anything — making money is not the point here. Spreading some small measure of emotional wellness and joy for all of us is the point.

4) Gifts and Multiples. Sending a stamped envelope to send to someone else as a gift is perfectly fine, though if you don’t include a note or let them know in some fashion what’s happening, they might be very confused to receive books from me. If you want multiple books sent to your house, that’s probably fine, too. Just double the stamps, or send another stamped envelope.

5) Anything else? Hey, this is new for me, too, so I’m sure there are things I haven’t thought of. So if you have any questions, please feel free to email me and ask.

I’m not sure how long this will last. It could be that nobody cares and I never hear boo from anyone, or it could be that I get absolutely buried, quickly run out of books to mail, and need to shut it down. We’ll see!

There you go.

Mail your SELF ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOPES to:

Never Knows Books
2711 Fir Street SE
Olympia, WA 98501